Mystified Soul
By: Wissam Karam
5/11/2003
What point of time are we maintaining, where pessimism is seeded and well preserved in each and every Lebanese. Phrases are common muttered between every two gathered Lebanese on a sip of Turkish coffee, in a café, on the streets, in every ceremony. This spirit is not but that one and only Dark Angel chasing us in every corner, who became our shade and dearest friend. Can’t but listen and repeat each phrase with utmost obedience.

Slaves! Yes we are for this spirit has bewildered each and every Lebanese unfortunately rapidly passing it on from generation to the other.

To challenge we refuse, to change we lack; humble we are anxiously waiting for the worst with despair.

Seldom an intruder- is that seed, which I’ve mentioned have conquered our society. A new culture is written to the nation that often used to surpass on her culture to those whom are parched for it.

Indeed a turning point in our history, where pride and dignity today are sold for a cut of loaf. The ugly carved picture is the struggle to afford that loaf, a father begging in all means, a mother dishonoring her oath toward God and her community that they might teach their children that they might feed their children.

This is Lebanon today can you imagine! That promising and keen land, this beauteous, gigantic yet small piece of land sold to that spirit an evil spirit, to that Black Angel.

Thousands of Lebanese youth are being drifted away from the shore of their homeland, seeking for that called survival, that they may live hoping and pleading from God that the spirit won’t chase them across the waves and deepness of the wide ocean, leaving no trace of their steps decreasing the chances of such phenomenal to occur.

They used to say that the Lebanese people are fearless and up to any challenge, though today we can sense that honoring portrayal has been paled and washed off the face of universe by that Black Angel.

Twenty-two young enthusiastic full of hopes and boundless dreams we were. Leaving home back than seeking higher education, declaring an oath that we shall return to serve and offer our be given talents under the service of our beloved Lebanon, though today I’m the one and only who made it back to that shore of departure for arrival part have been crossed off by that spirit.

Weak I am, hopeless want me to be, under the dirt I’ve been rooted that every bargain hunter may step on me, uttering not but gratitude for not dumping me into the ocean into that deepened sea.

Since my arrival to my home, crowds have been pinpointing me with mirthless scrimptions carved on their colorless faces. Look at this idiot who came back from the fortunate land to the unfortunate, preferring hell to that heaven which he have been blessed by. Eyes of envy ness each one of them want to be me, want to have this document of mine allowing them to pass to this other land, a promising land, a land that might wipe off their daily routine- misery and despair.

Shall I surrender to the fate? Shall I accept the merciless defeat of a fight that I haven’t encountered? Shall I pack up and leave the land that I promised never to part?

What must I do! I am confused- an idiot I’ll ever be if I remain and determined to meet the challenge, and guilty I’ll ever be if I decided to part my everlasting love and devotion to my mother- towards Lebanon.

I can see no tomorrow for that morrow is way ahead of me or my approach, though I often see a glimpse of light coming from that doted apex, I often think it’s from heaven. Light of hope, yet “hope without a constructive struggle is unattainable”. Would the populace of Lebanon ever erupt from that dullness, from that fear mesmerizing that evil spirit- off to go without return?

Twenty-three tempting job offers I have received, yet not one from Lebanon all from neighboring Arabic and few European countries. I have refused them all hoping that one evenhanded, humble, and honorable job offer from any Lebanese agency or company that would guaranties my commitment towards Lebanon, keeping my oath honored and sacred. Unfortunately my case is not the only case but thousands and thousands of fellow Lebanese mainly youth, mainly the newly graduates. I somehow consider as if it’s a conspiracy against the youth against us the future generation, against our Lebanon. Indeed it is so; indeed it is the whisk of that Dark Angel.

Oh God! Hear the prayers, of your humble servants, from the sons of oppressed Lebanon. Oh God! Hear our drained cries, for that evil spirit has deprived even tears of expression. I ask you to rouse and push us, the diluted people of Lebanon to the battlefield that we may confront another dreadful fight against that Dark Angel. For I’m certain that us united, we shall overwhelm this evil and in God’s will that spirit shall never harm us again.

Lebanon must retain her once glory, her once prevailing culture, her once pride and dignity, ought to fight any danger that might encounter those sacred demeanor. For that is not but Lebanon’s right that shall carry on forever.

Long Live Free Lebanon